Trusting in the Cycles of Life
Sitting Quiet
During my twenties while living in a high mountain cabin in Northern New Mexico, I would sit and watch the March snowstorms move across the valley, hear the echo of distant wanderers, and revel in the solitude of the high desert. A response to the beauty and peace began to stir deep within, wanting expression.
When the burst of Spring filled in the mountainsides and mesas with fragrant vibrancy and the colors of new life, these inner promptings took form. I began doing something that I later found was called “toning”. I would sit and make a “joyful noise” into the hills and feel quite wonderful for having done it—free and clear! There was no one around to critique. No audience, except for the surrounding trees. Just me and the Universe, “sitting pretty”, making music!
In those years I continued to let my voice carry me, even on a few rare occasions joining mine with others in stunningly beautiful, AND unrehearsed, harmonies that seemed to “come out of nowhere”.
At some point, life got busy with child rearing, “keeping a roof overhead”, city living with its inherent “not wanting to disturb the neighbors” (God forbid!). Slowly, the busy-ness of life “crept up behind and overtook me”–I was no longer taking the time to do this thing I loved.
The Business of Life
Oh, there were the occasional long drives where as my son nodded off, I would gently rock him to sleep with sound. And of course, there was always a moment or two in the shower…Just nothing to even hint at the wonder I had experienced in those earlier years.
I would attempt to “give it a go” on occasion; sometimes I just didn’t have the energy or focus. Creativity does take time set aside for “letting it unfold”. I mourned the loss while taking care of what needed taking care of. Sometimes I was harsh on myself for not “fitting it all in”! That is SO easy to do.
It is clear to me now that Life is full of cycles; what we love stays with us, returns, never leaves…for us it is to learn Trust in the ebbs and flows and Faith that we are being carried, guided every step of the way.
Joyful Noise!
Recently, quite “out of the blue” I started toning again. As I, with cup of tea in hand, would watch the rising sun, I began to make a joyful noise. The funny thing is, it came quite “naturally” to me. There was no struggle to “fit it in”! Suddenly, I was just doing it!! Who would have believed!!! It is as if no time had passed; it is just part of my life, again. Now, too, there is an even richer appreciation of it.
And THAT, is what I mean by Trusting in the Cycles of Life. If you are living in a whirlwind of caring for young children, working full time, and you wonder, “Will I ever…again?” Yes, you will!
(c)2010 Emily A. Easton
Love it, Emily. Thanks you for sharing yourself with us. Barbara
Dearest Emmy, this truly lovely. What an inspiration for me. Your site is STUNNINGLY elegant beyond words. Probably the most beautiful I’ve seen.
Although I’ve not had kids this post is really relevant to me right now. My work load has been more intense than ever in my life. I’ve barely had time to blog, work coming at me left right and center. Getting very little sleep, working with publishers, doing book trailer, documentary, editing, marketing plans, etc. I’ve had no time for phone or email and the other night I stood in the living room and felt numb.
Even though the work is VERY exciting and the creative parts with my sweetie are excellent, it is still a wild wild ride. Like my agent said, it’s time to let out a big Heeeeeeehaw, grab the edge of my seat and hang on. And then she said it would get faster from here on (and she is SO right). LOL!
The point being: when I stood in my living room I was asking just the type of questions you raise here,(and mine went like this), “Will I ever feel normal again, and have a life again, and have ‘time out’ again?” Honestly, right now I can’t imagine it.
Then I thought how my agent said, “The baby is getting ready to be born.” So it’s like I am an expectant Mom knuckling down for the long haul. In light of that to hear: “Yes, you will.” Really did me a lot of good. It also allowed me let go, be right now, let the “baby” be born and trust that at some point things WILL settle back into peace and calm…I will have time.
In the meantime I focus on not overextending anymore than I already am and also focus on being in the moment.
Thank you for your beautiful wisdom.
I love you so much, and think of you often. Roby
PS Your writing and photos here are just stunning. Magical. Even beautifully other-worldly.
Thank You both for your wonderful words of encouragement! It means a lot to me to hear from each of you! Emily
I finally got to a library so I could get on-line and am so glad I did. This reads so well and is comforting to read. It read even better than when I heard it read on the phone. And reading your sister’s comment echo’s my own thoughts on no matter where we are we wonder if a feeling or place will ever come back. Sometimes it doesn’t but mostly I think it does when it is part of us or as you beautifully put it. I like the way you said it better. Anyway, thanks for sharing and I have shared this as well to a number of friends. Love Rosie
Hi Em,
Lovely reflection……
I never imagined I would be where I am these days!! Living in Alaska, working in an office, hanging out with teenage sons. I am loving it all when I just stay in the moment and do not go back or think ahead. Trusting that this season in my life is preparing me for the next, wherever and whatever that may be!! And watching how your life has unfolded inspires me and comforts me! Love, Gail
Thank you both for sharing such beautiful thoughts. love and joy, Emily
Yes! It’s good to remember the cycles of life. Love
Dearest Emily,
I love the way you write Emily; I feel as though I am swept away by your insight! I also appreciate what a gift you are to my life and to the universe! You live in tune with your spirit and in sync with the natural world around you. You are an inspiration to me and I am grateful for the way you remind us that life is filled with seasons and cycles. Right now I feel pulled in so many directions, but you gently remind us to take care of ourselves. Even though I cherish my life and those who are part of it there are certain things that I value and love that have been temporarily shelved for the sake of time. It is wonderful to be nudged by you that they and I will return to one another once again, and most likely with much more appreciation and love than ever before. Thank you for your incredible blog and for the gifts that you endlessly share with others. Much love, Jen
You ARE an incredible writer, Jen–what a magnificent comment!!! Thanks for being in my life!!!!!! Emily