Relaxing Into Life…All of It!
Years ago, I told a friend that when I figured out “this money thing” I would probably ascend! Life has been very good and generous to me in many ways, being blessed with good health, wonderful family and friends, creative endeavors satisfied…AND, a steady, positive growth in the area of MONEY has eluded me. In part, it is a familial “thing”—creativity and often brilliance in the face of it all while WITHOUT the accompanying accumulation of wealth.
There have been many ebbs and flows in the area of finances. When life is changing, moving into something new, often (I have noticed) the old begins to fall away before the new arrives. Which has left me “hanging” on more than one occasion.
So, recently, after a whirlwind of two shows, a couple presentations and prep for a workshop, all of which received “critical acclaim” if not financial, I noticed a creeping fear of, “what in the heck am I doing?” making its way into my psyche! Yech!
What usually happens with me at such times, is the gut starts clenching up, the self-judgments of the “what is the matter with ME?” variety start shouting, the fringes of red (in my mind anyway) panic start crawling into place and then its a painful ride into FEAR…Ever experienced any of THAT?
This morning, I woke up to the beginnings of all of the above, when I said to myself, “Self…wait just a “cotton picking moment” here!” Just like that, that is what I said. It occurred to me as insane as it might be, WHAT IF I just RELAXED MY BELLY?!?!?!?
Novel, I know. Scary in the “let go”? Definitely! Helpful? Beyond belief!
It took me a few conscious attempts at it as I made my way through walking the dog, doing qi gong, feeding the kitten and then it began to feel REALLY GOOD to do this RELAXING! (and for those of you who know me–yes, there is a kitten in the house—where did he come from and WHAT is he doing here??? HE is looking for a good home!)
The relaxing of the belly took enough attention and effort that I wasn’t any longer focusing on the mind rantings or the fear…I was and still am as I sit here typing, actually enjoying myself and this beautiful day.
Suddenly, whole new possibilities began opening up for me—a sense of well-being, a renewed knowing that the Universe and I are in alignment and that “this too shall pass” into what is to come, began to replace the prior mindset!
In the seemingly simply “relaxing of the belly”, I am, in this very moment, OK with the unsettling aspects of being self-employed with its ebbs and flows; I am realigned with deep FAITH and TRUST; I am open to NEW POSSIBILITIES—ALL due to letting my belly hang loose and relaxed! WOW! Try it; you might like it! : )
Blessings, Emily
© 2010 Emily A. Easton
Letting go of how we think things should be and enjoying what is!
The last couple years were spent traveling and living solo where the only responsibility was self care—no pets, no household to run, no children to support, no partner. It has been a wonderful time of getting to know myself as a single, midlife woman and to discover as each day unfolds what blessings are held in it. It also has been a time to reconnect with and take note of what draws me in now, what catches my fancy, what inspires and is fulfilling now.
Recently, I had begun feeling the need for the companionship, physical contact and intimacy of a daily life shared. Of course, as any full blooded, die hard romantic would do, I contemplated where I was going to MEET SOMEONE here, where the land is VERY BIG and the people far and few between!
Then suddenly it seemed that “everyone” around me was getting a DOG, which led to walks with friends’ dogs, visits by friends with dogs, well meaning bystanders suggesting dogs. Dogs, dogs, dogs…everywhere I looked!
OK, OK. So I dragged myself reluctantly to the Animal Shelter solely for a “look see”. I did the walk through. Nothing more. No pitter-patter of “YES, this is THE ONE”. Whew…ok, then. A few days later I with some resistance went again. Again, whew…no pressure there. I did this three or four times over the next couple weeks.
I even bought some of those green dog chews shaped like little bones while in the Dollar Store and kept them on the kitchen shelf, as a timid gesture back at the Universe that I MIGHT be warming to the idea, when in fact it was a RELATIONSHIP that I was looking for, for God’s Sake, not the care of a pet!!!!
Then one afternoon on the way home from town, while not even intending to go to the “pound”, something said that I had better. I was by now on a first name basis with everyone there. Greetings were exchanged and I was left to wander through the kennels on my own.
Off I went and there she was…just arrived and one mass of trembling terror at where she found herself. Otherwise, healthy, young and clear eyed. No collar, though along with having been spade, she seemed to have not been starved nor basic needs neglected.
For a nominal fee, she came to me, after being held for 10 days, “just in case” the previous owners would claim her. They didn’t, so I did.
I now live with a year old, heeler/beagle mix of delight. She is adorable, curious, all body wagging joyful on long walks and endlessly affectionate in a gentle, cheerful manner.
The other night, as I climbed the stairs for bed, with Gypsy right behind me, I was struck by the wonder of it all—affection is being exchanged, walks through pastures and on mesas taken together, fierce loyalty and that peace that comes when “someone has my back”.
A friend had asked me what I wanted in a a dog before I had gotten Gypsy and I had said I wanted a dog who appreciates me, is a good companion, is loyal, who delights in Life, and who brings humor and laughter into the day. She laughed and said, “That’s what you want in a partner, too…you ought to write that down!”
Sometimes we think and are SO set on a “something/someone” that we miss the beauty, wonder and perfection of what we are given. As I climbed the stairs, I marveled that what I need right now is wrapped in the coat of a thirty pound dog named, Gypsy.
That is not to say that down the road I won’t be given another package in a different wrapping! : ) May the gifts you receive be delightfully wrapped, Emily
PS—If you want a great “pick me up”,
check out, “Jessica’s Daily Affirmations” under “Extras”!
© 2010 Emily A. Easton
The End of the World or Not? (This one’s for you, Roby)
Spring Robin!
Yesterday we had a Spring “blizzard”. It snowed; it rained; it hailed; the wind blew fiercely; then it started all over again. All day long!
Last night, there was the First Time Ever, “Ladies Night Out”, being held in Cortez. Weeks before, I had been offered a booth rental at this event to meet local women and speak with them about Life Coaching. The impetus behind the premiere was to fund scholarships for young women in the area. A worthy cause!
As the day progressed, the WEATHER dominated all considerations—would any Ladies even be going out???
I had given myself more than enough time in the afternoon to make the final preparations. At 3:30 p.m., as the storm raged, while putting the final touches on my display, the printer ran out of ink. I live in a town of 1,100 people. There is no “ink store” within 25 miles.
Of course, the questions came up immediately! The perfectionist tendencies of my lineage were screaming maniacally at the top of their voices–do I dash into Cortez, go to the one place I am loath to go (which will remain nameless; think “Superstore”), grab an ink cartridge, then DASH back home, avoiding rogue deer on the highway to say nothing of black ice and gale winds across the wide open spaces, finish what was a very minimal print job (I mean we are talking just a couple of, albeit very informative, sheets of lettering for “the display”), to only return an hour and a half later to set up for the event?
Even in the BEST of times, if one does the math, the level of insanity one would need on hand to attempt such a feat is quite clear! In other words, did I need to make myself crazy or NOT?
I have to admit, I did momentarily do a song and dance of, “AAGGH!” Then I stopped. I looked out the window at what was, at that particular moment, a mixture of heavy snow, gravity defying wind and hammering hail, AND, bless my heart, I took a deep breath and I actually laughed , even as bits of me went muttering into the corner, “…hmmph…Well, WE won’t be held responsible… for HER actions…grrrrr…”
As a peace offering to those cantankerous aspects of my being , I made one feeble attempt at writing the information out on poster board. It looked like a 6th grade science project. I left it on the kitchen table.
Spring?
Then I gathered up my stuff—professionally printed “sample session” gift certificates (obtained without haste several days earlier), books such as “Slowing Down in a Sped Up World” : ), the beautiful periwinkle shawl my sister had made me, to drape over the table (taken for its beauty, and honestly, for the comfort of her “presence”) and a vase for the flowers that I might still be able to obtain “out there in the storm”!
I closed the door, bent my head into the wind, crept to my car, got in and drove to Cortez where in a moment of inspiration, I stopped at a grocery store that I never go to and found daffodils!!! The Ultimate Spring Flower!!
During the course of the evening, not only did I unexpectedly win a door prize of lovely bath products!, I met some wonderful women! Several vendors came over to me and said how beautiful AND simple my display was. Wistfully, they contemplated the work ahead in packing theirs up at the end of the evening! Everyone commented on the beautiful flowers as a hopeful sign of Spring and how lovely the periwinkle shawl was and where did I get it?
It was a DELIGHTFUL evening of interacting with women who were interested in the possibilities of Life Coaching, of making good connections and really having fun! AND, I fit everything into one Earth friendly shopping bag! No need for extra, strategically placed, albeit very informative sheets of lettering…no need at all.
Simplicity
As I sit here laughing at myself and being grateful that I AM learning and growing and changing and moving in Life, I know that, when “stuff” happens, we have to stop and ask, “Is this the END of the world or NOT?”
If the answer is “not”, I say, take a deep breath, go buy yourself some daffodils and get on with it! Life is short and you are worth it! Many Blessings, Emily : )
©2010 Emily A. Easton