Greetings from the snow lands!!!
Several people recently have said I have courage. As I sit here looking out the window at snow, blue sky and my shoveled out little red car, I am curious as to what it really means to have courage. Awhile back, when talking with a friend the topic came up as she said how courageous it was for me to head off to a place I didn’t know (Mancos) and people I didn’t know (it takes about ten minutes to find as many new friends here). I did not feel courageous; it is “just the next step in my life”.
Then I began to wonder why I felt this way and also what it really is “to have courage”.
In the context of my life, what takes courage, is to make a change when what I have been living is no longer supporting what I have become. It takes courage to listen to inner promptings and then follow through with them. I will tell you honestly that to drive across country or to head to Yellowstone for a five-month stay, is very do-able for me, actually a fun and exciting adventure.
Each of us has our own natural inclinations and our own ways of being that to others may seem powerful, outrageous, glorious and very brave in living them. The actual doing of them is who we are. It is NOT difficult for me to drive hither and yon; it is easy for me to live in mountain cabins, to move to strange and new places with new people and ways of being. Traveling for me is just something done with a little forethought and commitment to the journey. (kind of like our stay on Earth!) We each have gifts and abilities that are just what we “came in with”. I have ALWAYS been an adventurer, a lover of all things foreign and one who thoroughly enjoys meeting new people from all walks of life, nations and backgrounds. I was brought up with a close connection to Nature and the Earth as something to respect and definitely not to be afraid of, just a part of the Life around me. It does not occur to me to be afraid of the deep woods of Yellowstone or the quiet back roads of New England. To have respect for these places, yes. Fear, no.
What takes courage for me is to know that even though I may “rock the boat”, even though I am filled with “what ifs”, even though I may have a pang of “guilt” for not being responsible to supposed tasks that have been prescribed as to what a “mother does”, “what a community member does”, what a “NORMAL person does” (that’s always been a zinger for me). “Oh, dear, God, what is NORMAL?!?” (For what it is worth, I now don’t believe there is such a thing as “normal”). :)
True courage is to be enough attuned to my inner workings and connection with Life that when something needs to change, when something is no longer appropriate, when I feel so drawn to do or be something new that all I can do is move into that, to take a stand when needed regardless of how many others “are with me”, to tell my truth, to be patient with my learning and growing, to be kind to myself and others when my upbringing would tell me to be otherwise, to “get out of my own way” and to let Life move through me—these are what to me, take courage and bravery in Life.
I am curious as to what courage means to you and would love to read your comments. Happiest of New Years from alternately sunny and snowy Mancos! Blessings, Emily
Emily A. Easton(c)2009
2 comments:
Hi Em,
Like I said in my email, I liked what you said about courage. I think I've done many courageous things, but I also see that I can be very afraid, and that when it feels like my life is falling out from under me, I hold on out of fear of loosing more, but I find that doesn't help. I only loose more it seems. I think one thing is I've been trained that I'm supposed to always be happy, and when I'm not, parts of me think myself and other people don't want to hear if I'm not happy. What's my problem... Get a life.... Don't wake us up....... Right now in my life I am not very happy. How can one be courageous if they don't acknowledge the different feelings they are having. I know I have patterns from my past that get in my way in the present, and that it sometimes takes a while to become aware of them, and begin to truthfully deal with them.
So I see one form of courage is to let the clear river of truth, flow through us unhindered. To see my many states, as I'm present, to see the flowing truths, and to act on those truths. I feel, I really have no say in the matter, because only the truth will take me to who I am and to what I need, desire, wish, and hunger or need to attend to. To resist that only causes me suffering. So have the courage to trust what our bodies are telling us, even if it's just a hunch of a feeling and even if no one else agrees. An even if it's a mistake, then learn from it. Even if you feel there isn't much of you left. Don't dam up the river. Just have the courage to trust the flow going through you. I wish us all the best. Love Will
Thanks, Will, For your thoughts. I agree and I continually remind myself that self-kindness and gentleness are of paramount importance as I learn and re-learn to truly pay attention to what my body and feelings are telling me. It is actually exhilarating to me at this point in my life to give myself so much more credit and caring. May you flow gently in this new year and always, Em
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